And They Do
by egyouppt
Summary: They're a family. And Finn has to convince Rachel that that's what's most important. Because it is. Finchel future fic.


**A/N:**_ Yes, oneshot. Yes angst alert. Mega thanks to tjcrowfoot for beta-ing._

_Heads up. Scenes not in chronological order._

_Disclaimer: don't own_

* * *

"It's already been a year," Rachel whispers next to him.

Finn stares straight ahead, his eyes solemnly sweeping over the landscape in front of him. It still doesn't seem real most of the time. But here, now, looking down at the headstone engraved with her name, he knows it _is_ real. It's been a whole year. And the weight of that knowledge almost makes his knees buckle. Again. He grips her hand tightly because he can't find the words. He can't face them.

"How are we ever supposed to be a family now, Finn?" She's chewing on her lip and her eyes are all watery and he can just hear the echo of their hearts breaking all over again.

"Rachel," he says. "Rachel, _we're_ a family."

But she doesn't answer. She just turns her face toward the marker, re-reading the words a thousand times. He just doesn't understand. And she hopes he never does because she can't stand the thought of him having to live with this kind of pain.

* * *

"Seriously?" he asks, grinning.

"Completely."

"Rachel, this is _awesome._" He envelopes her in his arms, careful not so squish her too hard because he doesn't want to hurt _the baby._ "I'm gonna be a dad," he whispers into her hair. And maybe he's crying a little, but they've been trying for _so long._ And now his life is finally starting to fall into place. So he figures a few tears are in order.

She winds her arms tightly around him because it still feels like a dream to her. A baby. They're really going to have a baby. And suddenly the years of trying and trying and failing and failing seem to just fall away. Because all that matters right now is that it's she and Finn and their baby son or daughter. And even when she got her first Tony Award it doesn't compare to how she feels right now. "I love you, Finn," she murmurs, snuggling further into his embrace.

He tilts her face up, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "I know." He smirks, then turns serious. "I love you too, Rachel. I love us." And he smiles against her skin, 'cause he really does love her and they're going to be a family and he just can't get over it.

* * *

"How old is she?" the woman asks, reaching for Sadie.

Rachel hands over her daughter reluctantly and only because it's Finn's cousin and he's giving her _that look_ right now. "Just over six months." She looks over to see Finn smiling at her and she feels a little better, blinking at the way the light is reflecting off his wedding band.

Finn watches as his cousin coos and babbles at his daughter, pride tightening his chest. She is the most beautiful baby in the whole entire world and his opinion is completely unbiased. Really, all you have to do is look at her and it becomes obvious. She has Rachel's soulful brown eyes and his dimples and he just, God, he loves her so much. Sure, from the moment when Rachel first told him they were pregnant, he'd loved her. But he just loves coming home to his wife fussing with their daughter, both their cheeks rosy. He grins over at Rachel and she returns the expression.

Twenty minutes later, they're still standing there. "Anne." Finn nudges his cousin. "Anne. _Anne!"_ Her head snaps up. "Can I have my daughter back now?"

"Oh." She hands the baby over grudgingly, telling Rachel it was nice to meet her and Finn that she'd see him later. Finn cradles Sadie in his arms and glances at Rachel, who bursts out laughing.

He quirks an eyebrow, amused. "We're going to have to put a time limit on how long other people can cuddle _our_ daughter," she says, eyes bright. And then she reaches over the brush a strand of dark hair off Sadie's forehead and Finn doesn't know if he's ever seen anything more beautiful.

* * *

Rachel leans back in the chair, holding Finn's hand nervously.

"This will feel a little cold," the OBGYN tells her. And it does. She jumps a little. It's been twenty weeks. Twenty weeks of bliss and twelve weeks of hell. She squeezes his hand because he's been so great through all of this. She knows she can be hard to deal with even when she's in a good mood. And now that she's pregnant, her moods are all over the place. And she knows he gets a little frustrated, but he deals with it.

And at her monthly appointment today, they're finally going to find out the sex of their baby. Finn watches the screen, transfixed. When the doctor tells them they're having a girl, Finn can't help but let out a small noise of relief. He would have loved a son just as much and still plans on having one. But that hole in his heart from having the daughter he thought was his taken away from him is finally, finally completely filled again. Because she, this little baby growing inside his wife, she _is_ his daughter. And she's not going _anywhere._

* * *

"Does she feel warm to you, Finn?" Rachel asks concernedly.

Finn frowns and places the back of his hand on Sadie's forehead. "Yeah." Shit. "You want me to call the doc's office, babe?"

She nods. "We have to take every precaution, Finn. I'm going to go boil some honeyed water. I don't want her throat to get sore. What if she has the flu? Or mono? What if she ends up getting malaria or something worse? We can't—" She stops when she sees her husband laughing. "_What _is so funny?"

He holds his hands up in defense. "I'm all for keeping her healthy, Rach. But I don't think she's gonna get malaria. Mosquitoes don't show up here in the winter."

She huffs in her Rachel way before ordering him to call their pediatrician's number and exiting the room to boil some water. Finn shakes his head, chuckling, and dials the number.

* * *

"Damn it!" Finn chases after his daughter who's learned to crawl like a fucking demon. He scoops her up just before she can crawl behind the couch again and he has to spend another hour trying to get her out.

Rachel comes in from the kitchen. "What's going on, Finn?"

He grumbles. "Nothing. She takes after _you._ You know that right?"

Rachel grins and then so does Sadie and damn, his heart is mush all over again. "I just can't stay annoyed at either of you." He sighs wistfully.

Rachel laughs. And then she screams. "Finn!" And he looks down and _oh shit oh shit oh shit. Why is there blood coming from Sadie's nose?_

"Come on!" He grabs his keys and they're out the door faster than he can curse himself. She was supposed to be better and they can't take any chances. Not after everything else.

* * *

Finn stares at the blood and the blood and why is there so much blood? This isn't normal. It's not. He's never seen a real live birth before, not like this, but he knows it's just not _right._

He asks what's going on and where's all this blood coming from? But they ignore him because _holy shit_ his daughter is being born. But Rachel. _Rachel._ She's convulsing a little and then suddenly the doctors are paying attention. But then they tell him to leave. And he swears no and no and no he _won't._

But then they say they can't save her if he doesn't leave. So he leaves. And he paces. He remembers how Rachel's pacing would psych him out, but he gets it now. And he prays to whatever gods there may or may not be. Because she needs to be all right. Rachel needs to be all right and their daughter—Sadie Elaine, they'd decided on—she needs to be all right too. And then and only then will _he_ be all right.

He looks through the glass slit in the door, but he can't see anything that he can place.

* * *

Rachel frowns as the pediatrician hands her a slip of paper with a prescription on it. "Two teaspoons twice a day and she should be as good as new in two weeks."

"Two _weeks?_" she echoes incredulously. Sadie could contract a million other illnesses in two weeks! Is he _trying_ to kill her precious, her only, baby? Well, she won't stand for it.

The doctor gives her a withering look. "Yes. If you want medications that will effectively kill the bacteria, then yes, two weeks is how long it will take."

"Look here," Rachel starts, but Finn grips her waist tightly, indicating for her to _just please don't do this here, Rachel._

"Thanks," Finn cuts her off and picks Sadie up, leading Rachel out of the examination room. "Don't make a scene, baby, please," he whispers. "I know two weeks is a long time, but it's better than nothing. She'll be okay. I promise."

Rachel smiles a little because only Finn can pound sense into her like this. "Okay," she promises as they reach the car.

* * *

"There were complications," the doctor tells him. Finn stares at him. "Both your wife and baby are fine," he assures.

Finn's heart settles a little and his breath returns to normal. "But your wife—a Rachel Hudson—won't be able to have another child. If she tries, she will die."

He doesn't like the nonchalant way the doctor delivers that bit of news. Like "oh, it's all good but if you want another kid, sucks for you 'cause your wife can't pop one out without kickin' the bucket. See ya around, dude." But he nods curtly and pushes past the white coat and into the room to see Rachel. A nurse is holding baby Sadie and Rachel is breathing shallowly, her eyes sallow and red from crying.

"Rachel?" he asks.

"Did…did they tell you?" She looks away, ashamed.

But he cups her face and murmurs, "Rach, baby, we don't need to think about that right now. Okay? Look over there." He gestures toward the nurse. "She's holding our _daughter,_ Rachel. That trumps everything else, all right? I love you."

She reaches outward and the nurse hands her a small baby girl, wrapped in a pink blanket. And she realizes that Finn's right. This is her world now, her daughter. Her family. And she's going to give them everything she has to offer.

* * *

She cries into Finn's chest as their friends and families offer their condolences after the service. She can't face them. Finn holds her tightly as his own tears glisten in his eyes. He doesn't know how he'll be able to make it through the lowering of the casket. He looks over and it's just so _so wrong_ to see a coffin so small. He chokes back a sob as his mother walks up and hugs both of them simultaneously.

Another shard of glass pierces his heart when he realizes his mother won't ever have another grandchild. She looks at them with glossy eyes and mouths, "I'm so _so_ sorry." Next.

He feels like a part on an assembly line. It's just messed up. As much as he appreciates the support, he can't help but feel like these people just _can't_ understand. But here they are one after the other giving him their best wishes and "everything happens for a reason"s and he thinks that's the biggest crock of shit he's ever fucking heard. 'Cause there's no way in hell there's a _reason_ his daughter isn't alive. It just happened. And he doesn't think he can ever forgive the world for being cruel enough to take her away from him and Rachel.

So he just cries harder.

* * *

"Thank you," Rachel says brightly as she accepts a gift from her mother-in-law. "And thank you for helping me plan the baby shower."

"Oh, it's not problem, honey." Carole smiles at her. "I just have to say, I'm so excited for you two."

Rachel laughs. "I know, so am I. I do think you're just as excited to have a new baby to spoil."

"Oh, and I am. And then I can send her right back to you and Finn," the older woman admits. And then she disappears, saying something about finishing the hors d'oeuvres, leaving Rachel to look after her, lips pursed.

* * *

Finn stares through the window as the monitor in the room starts going blank. And then it hits him what's really happening and then he's screaming and screaming and no _no no no no._

His hands are pounding hard on the panel and he doesn't care if it breaks because that's his _daughter_ in there with the monitor lines going all flat. And then the staff is grabbing at him, telling him, "Sir. Please calm down!"

"Get off of me!" He pushes them away and inside the room and doctors are giving up, saying there's nothing else they can do. He's still furious and his heart is still pounding too hard where his daughter's isn't _at all._

But they're back because _they_ don't give up and he resents them for telling him everything will be fine and "Calm down!"

"No!" And he knows his rage is seeping through, but he just can't help it. He's pounding harder at the glass, hands frantic. "That's my daughter! _My daughter!_" But it's no use because they don't let him in and there's no more beeping because there's no more _anything._ And he crumples to the floor. "My daughter," he repeats, only this time it's softer. Broken.

And then Rachel is gathering him into her arms, tears staining her cheeks, because he just…can't…

* * *

They're sitting in the nursery, painted a warm yellow with green trimming, and he's holding her as much as she's holding him.

It doesn't matter that it's been five months. It's a like a ritual for them. When it becomes too much to bear, they cuddle up in the room, surrounded by Sadie's things, comforting each other the only way they know how.

"I'm sorry, Finn," she tells him just like she tells him every time.

"It's not your fault, Rachel," he says back, just like _he_ says back every time.

And it isn't her fault. All they can do now is love each other. So that's what they do.

* * *

"Sadie," Rachel says laughing. She points to Finn. "This is daddy."

The baby reaches toward Finn, her small hands clutching his tie. He doesn't care that she's only been in his life for eight weeks, well outside of the womb anyway, because it's so right to have her here. And it just feels like she's always been there and he knows she always will be.

He grins and kisses her cheek before leaning over to greet his wife. "Enjoying your maternity leave, I see," he teases.

Rachel rolls her eyes. "I'll have you know, Finn, that I have an audition scheduled for tomorrow. And I'm confident that I'm going to _kill_ it."

He laughs and kisses her again. "I know, babe. I know."

And in that moment, he really _does_ know because everything is working out just the way it should be.

* * *

Rachel still hasn't said anything and that worries Finn because what's going through her mind?

"Rach—" he starts softly.

She turns to face him. "No! Don't you see Finn? We're never going to have another child. We're never going to be _that_ kind of family ever again. And _that_ is my fault!"

She's sobbing hysterically and Finn can feel his sanity cracking a little. God no, they don't _need_ this. "Rachel, we can adopt," he suggests, his voice breaking.

"It's not the same!" she insists. "None of those babies are going to have your freckles or dimples or my talent or..or…anything of ours! Finn…"

He sighs. She's right, but he doesn't see how it matters as much as she's trying to make it. It's not like they aren't in love anymore. They can find a way to make it work. But he freezes at what she says next.

"We can try again. Even if I—then you can—"

"Rachel!" he grabs her shoulders because this is bullshit and why doesn't she _get it?_ "Would I love to have kids that are ours biologically? Yeah, I would. But not at the expense of you, baby." He clings a little tighter because she _needs_ to understand. "Rachel, I _can't_ do this without you."

She looks at him, half-ashamed. And he can't read the other half. But she still doesn't say anything.

He lets go a little and pulls her into his arms, rocking her. "We can adopt a million babies with freckles; I don't care. But you gotta stop this. And you gotta stay because _we_ can't be a family without _you._"

She sniffles and he knows his shirt is gonna be soaked, but he doesn't give a damn. "I'm sorry," she whispers.

He just shakes his head and tells her there's no need. She reaches down to fix the flowers they'd placed on Sadie's grave and looks up at Finn. "They can call really have freckles?"

The look in her eyes is so stark and he can see that the memories had flashed through her head as well. And he gives her his half-smile and says, "Promise."

"Tomorrow, we can go down…to the agency." Her voice is quiet, hopeful.

"Yeah, we can," he agrees. Because they can.

And they do.

* * *

_remember if you kill me, i can't write happy things! :O  
What did you think though? Reviews=love._

_Take care! _


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